I-Work
The article was orginally published at: Reconciling with our biggest enemies.
Healing ourselves includes reconciling with our biggest enemies. 
Last week we cremated a friend that had been stabbed and murdered at the age of 39. Apart from the feeling of sorrow, I became aware of the effect that it had on my experience of fear as well. For a few hours, horrific bits and peaces of the story about his death popped up in my head and I started to be afraid.
Then suddenly, I don’t know why, I thought about the research that I have done on processes of reconciliation in the Western Cape. While I was doing that research many people have asked me how I would feel if I was told to reconcile with someone that committed great harm to me, my family or my friend.
It was a question that I was not capable of answering at that time because I had no such experience. I always hesitated to respond. The question is a very difficult one.
Yet now as the memory of the questions popped up in my mind, having just had that experience with my friend, I took time to find an answer, my own answer. What would I do?
The answer that I found within myself is that inside me is a criminal as well. In me is an energy that tends to marginalize myself that tends to sabotage and battle with my own being. Inside me is a voice that can cause bigger pain then any other person can, so I now presume ,ever cause me. The minute I knew this to be true, I also realised that it is that energy that I need to forgive. That this is what people mean when they tell you to befriend all your shadows. This is what I have taught people and yet I have never understood its full meaning until now. It is that energy that I need to acknowledge and it is that energy that I need to change.
The only way to change a negative thought, action, or motion into a positive thought, action or motion is through acceptance. I need to learn to accept the negative, the dark side, within myself more then I have already. I need to accept that those that harm me most are meant to show me what I am meant to learn within.
It is not an easy one to come to terms with, probably one of the most difficult, it is however my truth for now and it is what I like to share with you.
All of us are beautiful people that are meant to shine our light upon this beautiful world. I invite you to be your own light , to find your own answers and to continue to heal and to purify, yourself.   
There is nothing that drains us more then fear. There is nothing that causes more harm and more decease. Once we understand that it is ourselves that we fear, that we are scared to make the wrong decision, scared of the little monsters and voices within ourselves, scared to be at the wrong place at the wrong time, scared to some how be blamed or to be responsible for harm that is done upon us. Then maybe we can start to let go.
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